Of Rage And Love
by Glass Vial
Summary: If you stay on this path of self-destruction I don't know if I'll be able to help you. What if you go too far? What if I lose you?" Loosely based around Green Day's 'American Idiot'
1. And Now You've Gotta Do The Time

I've had these plot bunnies since 2005, I couldn't keep them at bay any longer. Like it says in the summary, this is based ever-so-loosely on the concept behind Green Day's 'American Idiot' album. I stand by putting this in the Plays/Musicals category for one reason and one reason alone: there was a rock-opera based on the album running at the Berkeley Rep (soon to be on Broadway). Google it if you don't believe me! The titles of all the chapters are also lyrics from songs either written or covered by Green Day. I'll credit each song under the chapter :]

* * *

"Time for your meds." I glance up as the average-looking, middle-aged nurse bustles into my room. She hands me a polystyrene cup filled with water, and places two pills into my other hand. "Is your lady-friend coming today?"

How the hell should I know? She comes and goes when she pleases, just like she always has done and always will do. I think, irritated, as I swallow. I don't say anything, though. I've had enough trouble with these people since I was shoved in here 'for my own safety'.

She gives up trying to get a conversation out of me and leaves. I breathe a sigh of relief, and then move the paperback notebook that they gave me - to 'document my thoughts and feelings', have you ever heard such crap? - so that I can get to my book. It has my day-planner stuck to the front now, but me being me I haven't exactly filled it in properly. It is a contents table, the last year and a half of my life spelt out in black and white, carefully ordered for easy reading.

She helped me convince my doctors to let me keep it, on one of the occasions when she'd graced me with her presence.

God, I sound so ungrateful. I know why she doesn't come every day. It's the same reason as why she left me for what we both thought would be good. But she came back then and I know she'll keep doing it.

How do I know that? Because we're in this together.

* * *

**Shoplifter; Green Day; American Idiot Single B-Side**


	2. Dreams Of Tomorrow

He lit another cigarette, staring out across the 7/11 parking lot. His best friend was at his side as they sat on the kerb, branching off from the group they'd arrived with. For some reason tonight, neither of them particularly wanted to get involved in whatever crazy scheme their friends cooked up.

"Tunny?" Jimmy looked across at the other boy. Tunny was younger than him by ten months, but sometimes it was easy to forget that. They'd lived one block away from each other their whole lives, and that had cemented their friendship over the years.

"What?" Tunny inhaled the smoke from his own cigarette.

"Have you ever thought about leaving?"

"Oh come on, J, we've done this before." He sighed. _And we both know we're stuck here 'til we drop dead, so why bother trying to make things any different?_

"No, I don't mean in an 'oh wouldn't it be great to go to the City and piss around for a few years' way. I mean to _actually_ leave. Leave and never come back." His eyes always lit up when he spoke of getting out of Jingletown.

"I know what you meant." Tunny swiped another cigarette from the packet Jimmy held loosely in one hand.

"Has Brad been on your case again?" He asked innocently, flicking the lighter and watching the flame dance before he sparked up.

"Is it really that obvious?" Jimmy hated his step-father. His_ real_ father - whom he'd idolized - had died when he was ten years old, leaving his grieving, prescription-drug dependent mother to fall into the arms of the alcoholic, sweet-talking Brad.

They were a match made in Hell, in Jimmy's completely unbiased view. "What was it this time? _'You're a disgrace to this family!'_? _'Sort your hair out!'_? _'Get a job, you freeloader!'_?" They both laughed, despite the fact that Brad had said all of those things at some point over the last eight years. In fact, that's probably what made Tunny's impression of him so funny.

"It was pretty close to that last one, actually." Jimmy admitted after they'd calmed down. "Bastard told me that since I'm eighteen now I'm not his problem and I should, and I believe this is verbatim, 'get out of this goddamn house'. Mom intervened, pulled the 'he's just a kid' card."

"So, Jesus, are you actually gonna do it?" Tunny flicked his cigarette butt across the asphalt, watching it burn out.

"Do what?"

"Get out of that goddamn house. What did you think I meant, moron? Hey!" He protested as Jimmy elbowed him in the chest. "Fuck, take a joke!" But the brief grin his friend flashed him told him that it was all in good faith, and he let it go. "_Anyway_, as I was saying, I gather Brad being a possessive ass over the house has gotten you back on your whole 'one way ticket out of Jingletown' thing again?"

"Well, yeah. I mean all it would take is a bus ticket into the City, wouldn't it?"

"Would you go on your own?" It was the question the conversation had been heading towards since the beginning, and they both knew it. Tunny wasn't about to let his lifelong best friend run off to the City without him.

Question was, would the Jesus of Suburbia be accepting disciples?

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'American Idiot' by Green Day.


	3. Don't Believe In Me

Jimmy got home at about eleven. He usually stayed out later, but that was when he felt like being the leader of his friends' crazy plans. He didn't bother trying to sneak in - he'd stopped caring about waking his mother or Brad long ago, and sometimes even relished a confrontation with his step-father about his . . . 'Extra-curricular activities'. Apparently hanging out in the 7/11 parking lot and winding up the stores patrons wasn't what 'well-balanced young men' should do with their free time.

He'd stopped trying to remind Brad that he wasn't a 'well-balanced' kind of person.

"Jimmy?" His mother called from the kitchen.

_Why's she still up?_ He frowned to himself as he walked through to her.

"D'you want some coffee?"

He stopped. Usually when he came in he got the modern day equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition from his mother about what he'd been doing and followed that up with a slanging match with Brad.

"Jimmy, do you want some coffee or not?" She looked at him, an eyebrow raised.

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

His mother handed him a mug of coffee, and it was her turn to frown. "You're acting strangely. What've you taken?"

Jimmy could've laughed - _he_ was the one acting weird? "Mom, I haven't taken anything. Promise."

Her eyes narrowed, but she relaxed. "I believe you."

"Makes a change." She was about to protest, but he carried on. "Where's Brad?"

"He's gone out with some people from work."

"That why you're still up?" He sipped his coffee, the bitter liquid burning his throat.

"Pretty much." She leant back against the work-top. "How come you're back so early, anyway? Don't you have some grand scheme of destruction to oversee tonight?"

He did laugh, then. Only a few short months ago she could never have brought up what he and his friends did in such a casual way. It probably helped that Brad wasn't likely to overhear them. This was how it had been after his father had died and before his mother had met Brad - the two of them, not shouting.

"I didn't feel like it." Jimmy admitted. "Me and Tunny didn't even join in with the planning tonight." His mother snorted into her drink.

"The both of you? What, has Hell frozen over?"

She was smiling, her eyes shining with laughter, and he saw the Mom he'd known years ago. This is what she'd looked like when his father was still alive, and then again once the pain of losing him had eased in the months before she'd met Brad. She'd been young when she'd had Jimmy, he knew that. She was, if he was being honest, still beautiful. And he did still love her, despite the things they screamed at each other on the bad days.

"Shut up." He was laughing again. He could barely remember the last time it had been like this.

"So what did you do?"

"We talked."

"What did you talk _about_?"

There was a moments hesitation as he decided whether to tell her the truth or not. "We um, we talked about leaving."

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus Of Suburbia' by Green Day.


	4. No One Really Seems To Care

The rest of the conversation didn't go particularly well.

_"Leaving?" _

_"Mom, you know I hate it here." _

_"But Jimmy -" _

_"Nothing's been the same since Dad died. Seven fucking years, Mom. I need to get out."_

Jimmy trudged along the street, hand buried deep in his pockets, unable to forget the look on his mother's face after those words had escaped his mouth. He hadn't thought it would upset her that much.

_"Jimmy, I know how hard losing your Dad was, it was hard on me too. But baby, please, I need you here."_

He'd left, he couldn't stand watching her plead. She was a broken woman as much as she was a broken boy. It was like looking in a mirror. Except he didn't get upset, he got _angry_.

By the time he reached Tunny's house, he was fuming. It was Rach, not his best friend, who answered the door to him.

"Jimmy? What's happened? Why are you here so late?" She frowned. Rach was a pretty girl - slim with dark hair and mischievous brown eyes. And she loved Tunny unreservedly, meaning that Jimmy had been quick to accept her into his inner circle simply because she made the other boy so happy.

"Can I come in?" He was barely managing to keep his temper in check. As Rach stepped aside to let him through the door, she yelled for Tunny to get downstairs.

He came running, hastily re-fastening his shirt. Under different circumstances, Jimmy would have promptly begun to take the piss out of him.

"Jimmy, what's up?"

"I got home and Brad was out. Mom and I had a _normal_ conversation, up until the point when I mentioned what we were talking about earlier." The other two could hear the edge in Jimmy's voice.

"What did she say?" Tunny asked tentatively.

"She freaked out." Jimmy met his eyes, and Tunny instantly knew why he'd come.

"Wait, wait, I think I've missed something here." Rach interrupted the two boys. Tunny's eyes widened, and through his rage Jimmy realised with a flash of horror that he'd just landed his friend in it. "Tunny?"

"We were, um . . ." He shifted awkwardly. "Leaving. We were talking about leaving, okay?"

There was that silence again. Jimmy briefly wondered if this would be _everyone's_ reaction when they were told about this.

"Leaving?" Rach repeated. "Tun, not _again_."

"It was only hypothetical, Rach. I mean, it's never gonna happen is it?"

It was Jimmy's turn to stare at him. "But you said -"

"Jimmy, please." Tunny was trying to get a point across to him without actually saying very much, but Jimmy wasn't having it.

"Right, fuck it then." He was back out of the door again before either of them could stop him.

"Jimmy -!" Tunny called after his retreating friend. Rach wrapped her arms around his waist, her mind far from easy.

"Rach, you know I'd never leave you right?" But that wasn't what she was worrying about.

"Tunny, is he gonna be okay?" She looked up at him.

_You kinda amaze me sometimes, girl._ He thought, kissing her forehead. "I'll go after him."

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus Of Suburbia' by Green Day.


	5. A Lonely Soul

"Lor, gimmie a sec." The older girl shut herself inside the 7/11's only cubicle. The minute she was inside, she gasped.

The walls were covered with writing.

"Holy _shit_." She breathed, her fingers tracing the words 'City of the Damned'. The faintest trace of black came off on her hand, and she realised it was written in eyeliner. _Who did this?_

In big, foot-high black capitals just above her head were the words 'Every one is so full of shit! Born and raised by hypocrites.' She pulled her lipstick out of her pocket and wrote underneath it in smaller, neater letters.

_Hearts recycled but never saved, from the cradle to the grave._

She capped the lipstick and walked over to the sink, splashing her face with cold water. The mirror was covered by a face drawn with eyeliner.

She could have stayed locked in that room for days and still not decipher everything that had been written on these walls. But however much she might want to do that, she couldn't just think of herself anymore.

Reluctantly she unlocked the door, taking the younger girl's hand in hers as she left the store.

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus Of Suburbia' by Green Day.


	6. The Graffiti In The Bathroom Stall

Jimmy hadn't realised he was heading towards the 7/11 until he was standing in the parking lot. The others were gone – meaning they'd been driven away by cops or had just gotten bored. He'd place money on it being the latter. The 7/11's staff put up with them because they got so much money from them. They'd also learnt to live with Jimmy graffitiing the 'employees only' bathroom.

That's where he was headed now, as he dug in his pockets for something to write with. He was happy when he found a Sharpie –- eyeliner was hard to write with.

His fevered scrawling was halted only when something red caught his eye.

_The fuck? I don't remember writing in lipstick . . ._ He got a closer look at it, and frowned. It had, if nothing else, succeeded in calming him down – if only for a few minutes. "'Hearts recycled but never saved, from the cradle to the grave'." He read aloud. The line was at odds with his own furious words -– the sermons and scriptures of the Saint in denial that he was slowly becoming.

The stories of the Jesus of Suburbia.

Jimmy let out a low sigh. He could identify with whoever had written this; even if that was a fact he'd never admit aloud. He rocked back on his heels, all the fury knocked out of him by the realisation that _someone out there felt the same as he did_.

He couldn't bring himself to write any more, he didn't want to risk marring the bittersweet sentiment in red lipstick which was so at odds with the furious black. This was not a feeling that Jimmy liked. He liked to feel in control; to all intents and purposes he was of course the leader of his friends. Those words . . . To him they spoke of the side of his situation he never wanted to address.

He could cope with the anger, the hatred and the rage. But the pain, the betrayal and the love?

No, Jimmy wasn't sure he liked this at all.

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus Of Suburbia' by Green Day.


	7. I Call It Blind Hatred

"Jimmy?" He looked up as he walked out of the bathroom, his eyes falling upon Tunny. His friend was leaning against the counter, a look of apprehension clear on his face.

"Why are you here?" He didn't stop walking, feeling his temper flare back up again.

"You might not wanna go out there." Tunny put a hand on his friend's arm to stop him, and was fixed with a glare for his troubles.

"Why the hell not?"

"I just -"

"I don't know why you're suddenly acting like you give a shit, but I would advise you to _let go of my arm_ and let me leave." It was a thinly veiled threat, and something resembling fear flickered across the younger boy's face for a fraction of a second.

"Jimmy, fuck, when did I say I didn't give a shit?"

"You didn't _need_ to _say_ anything." He glared.

"I completely understand why you're pissed with me, but please try and see this from my side? She'll be heartbroken, Jimmy."

He briefly remembered his initial guilt from earlier, and the look on Rach's face when the words 'we were talking about leaving' had left Tunny's mouth. He sighed, and Tunny removed his hand from his arm.

"So you're lying to her, then?" It was a simple enough question. Tunny chewed on his lip. "Whatever, we'll talk about it later." Jimmy decided it was best to make allowances for his friend. He needed _one_ ally in this town. "Why can't I go outside?"

"Because you'll end up getting arrested."

"The cops are out there? What's the big fuckin' deal?" He frowned.

"No, that's not what I mean. M-" Tunny was interrupted by a shrill giggle from outside.

Jimmy's eyes narrowed further.

"M-J?"

"Jimmy please don't do anything stupid -!" Tunny tried in vain to get a grip on his friend as he strode out of the door.

When he got outside, it took Jimmy a moment to process the scene before him. A handful of the gang had returned, one of them being Mary - his wayward kind-of-girlfriend who was nicknamed 'Mary-Jane' (or M-J for short) for reasons that were obvious once you'd known her for about a minute. She was clutching a brown paper bag in one hand . . . And the other was tangled in a head of brown curls as she shoved her tongue down the boy's throat. As the two of them came up for air, he realised that the boy in question was Jason.

It was probably a good job he'd never liked him anyway.

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Road To Acceptance' by Green Day.


	8. Everyone's So Full Of Shit

"Jimmy for fuck's sake!"

Christian looked up from the joint he was rolling as he heard Tunny's voice. He followed Tunny's eyes and was just in time to see Jimmy pull Jason off M-J and start throwing punches.

"You knew it was gonna happen." He looked back at Tunny lazily.

"Doesn't mean I want it to happen, does it?" The older boy muttered as M-J started shrieking.

"What the fuck Jimmy? You ruin everything!"

This distracted him from Jason, and he whirled around to face M-J.

"_I_ ruin everything?"

"That's what I said, fucktard!"

He grabbed her face with one hand, scrunching her cheeks up. "You kiss your mother with that mouth, Mary? For the girl with the name of a Saint you've hardly got a shred of decency, have you?" He snarled.

She spat the gum she'd been chewing into his face.

"Fucking -" Jimmy was cut off as Jason tackled him from behind. M-J resumed her ear-piercing screeches.

"Should we intervene?" Christian raised an eyebrow, glancing back at Tunny. "No one else is gonna."

Tunny took a moment to consider, before nodding sharply. Christian pulled himself to his feet, joint balanced between his lips.

"You want me to take the whore? Jase's less likely to hit you . . ."

"Sounds like a plan, Batman."

Before Jimmy could fully process what was happening, a body popped up between him and Jason.

"Get out of the fuckin' way, Christian." There was a slight slur in Jason's voice.

"Hell no. You're gonna get us all hauled in." The boy glared steadily.

"Me? _He's_ the psycho Chris!"

Tunny slipped his arms around Mary's waist, pulled her off her feet and threw her over one shoulder. The paper bag hit the floor, it's contents smashing on impact. Seconds later, he was almost deafened by a string of expletives being yelled right next his ear. To add injury to insult, she began to pummel his back with her fists. It was probably a good job he had hold of her legs. That could have ended badly.

"You put me the _fuck_ down, Tunny!" She finished.

"That's going to happen." He walked over to the door of the 7/11 and set her down. "Get your act together and stop fucking my friend over. He deserves better."

For Tunny, usually one of the more softly spoken members of their group, to say this to her was a surprise. He had succeeded in shutting her up.

Christian wasn't having quite as much luck. The boys had stopped physically harming each other, but he was now trying to stop the barrage of verbal abuse they were throwing at each other - as well as dodging some himself. Tunny, luckily, came to his assistance.

"C'mon, Jesus was a pacifist. Live up to your namesake." He grabbed Jimmy by the arm and steered him away from Jason. After shooting one last glare, Christian followed them.

Jimmy was suddenly to tired to even care.

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus Of Suburbia' by Green Day.


	9. Directions For Out Of This Place

Eventually, the boys ended up sitting on the grass in front of the house Tunny and Rach shared. Christian pulled his knees up to his chest, choosing his words carefully.

"Jimmy, in all seriousness, M-J isn't worth it. She's gonna end up a two-dollar crack whore, and let's face it it's only gonna be two years tops before she's so far down that path you're not gonna be able to get any sense out of her. Not that you can anyway . . ."

"Chris is right." Tunny looked steadily at his best friend, who was being uncharacteristically quite about the whole thing. "Jimmy, you deserve better. I'm not just saying that."

"I know." Jimmy sighed. "I hope you realise that I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? Jimmy, let's be -"

"Reasonable? Do you honestly think that's possible anymore?" He wasn't angry, which was worrying for the other two.

"I didn't know you were leaving." Christian raised an eyebrow. "When was this planned?"

"Christian," Tunny's voice was laced with warning. "No."

"Why not? I gather you're going with him?"

There was a momentary silence.

"I'm not fifteen."

"That was low." Jimmy chided his friend.

"And I'm not in love." Christian retaliated.

"So was that." Jimmy rolled his eyes in despair. "Stop it, the both of you. I'll go on my own."

"No!" The other two shouted in unison. Tunny held his breath, worried that they would have woken Rach up. When no sounds came from the house, he continued.

"Jimmy, I mean it, you can't go on your own."

"Well you aren't gonna come with me, are you? Unless you really were lying to Rach?"

"He doesn't have to go on his own. I can go with him." Christian was nothing if not persistent.

"Christian your parents would kill me." Jimmy pointed out.

"They trust you. It's stupid, I know, but they trust you. Add that on to the fact that they really couldn't give a shit about where I was and hey, there's my pass to the City."

Tunny buried his head in his hands.

"You two would get yourselves killed within the first hour."

"I'm glad you have so much faith in us." The smallest of smirks graced Jimmy's face.

"Tun, there's one way to make sure we don't get ourselves killed . . ." Christian met Jimmy's eyes, and the older boy realised how he wanted to play this one.

Christian was smarter than he let on.

"All right, fine. Tomorrow. But . . . I need to go and talk to Rach."

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Don't Leave Me' by Green Day.


	10. And It's Time You Knew The Truth

Tunny left Christian and Jimmy sitting on the grass. As he made his way into the house and up the stairs, a knot of panic and dread started to form in his stomach. He stopped, with his hand on the bedroom door. As he finally found the courage to open it, he saw Rach. She'd fallen asleep waiting for him to get back. He stood in the doorway, watching her.

The only light in the room was the light from her iPod, which she still had on. Her head rested in the crook of one arm, which was in turn resting against the pillow. Her other arm lay across her body, her fingers tangled gently in the headphone wire.

He crossed the room, settling himself cautiously on the edge of the bed. He reached over and took the headphones out of her ears, casting a glance down at the iPod as he picked it up so that he could turn it off. She'd fallen asleep to 'For Tammy Rae' by Bikini Kill, and that brought a sad smile to his face.

Tunny wouldn't wake her up to tell her. He couldn't bring himself to.

Instead, he moved so that he was on the bed properly, and lifted Rach so that she was leaning against him. She shifted in her sleep, cuddling closer to him.

He kissed the top of her head, and then tried to get some sleep.

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'One Of My Lies' by Green Day.


	11. In The Ditch That You Dug Yourself In

The two girls stepped off the train, the older one with a spring in her step as she did so. They wove through the crowds on the platform but this was made difficult by the fact that they were moving in the opposite direction to everyone else.

"Gloria, keep hold of my bag."

"As if I was gonna do anything else, Maria." Her little sister muttered, grabbing onto the handle of her backpack as they fought against the crowd.

They finally reached the far edge of the platform and jumped down. It was a good job, really, that the platform had been so busy –- if they'd had ended up by the ticket office they would've been in trouble. Hitching was much easier in Jingletown than here in Murder City.

"Well, that was relatively easy." Maria grinned. Gloria didn't reply, simply shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket and followed as her sister set off along the side of the track. She broke her silence a minute later.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the Underbelly." She noticed that Gloria had stopped walking, and turned around to face her. "C'mon, Lor, it isn't far."

"Yeah I know but . . . What are we doing, really?"

Maria spoke slowly. "Meeting the others. I know you're tired, honey, but I thought we established that back in Jingeltown?"

"I know . . ." Gloria hesitated. "But, seriously, we don't even know these people, not really. Or _I_ don't, at least. I know you just think I'm paranoid or whatever, but they could all be psychopaths for all I know!"

"Would I ever, _ever_ put you in danger?" She sighed.

"Not deliberately, no."

"_Gloria_." Maria narrowed her eyes.

"_Maria_." Her sister mocked. "Maybe we should just go home?"

"Why the _hell _would I go home?" She snorted derisively.

Gloria was beginning to get frustrated. "Because that's where we should be! We don't belong here, and deep inside you and I both know that!"

"Lor, I don't belong there. I don't know about you, but I cannot face another day there."

"Why not?" Her frustration was giving way to anxiousness. "And I mean _really_ why not? I know it got to you, and you didn't like it there, but you've never explained _why_."

"Because Dad's and ass and Mom is never there? Because neither of them like the person I've turned into? Because nothing good ever happens anymore? Take your pick."

"I know . . ." Gloria was almost lost for words. "But it's just . . . It's home, though, isn't it?"

"It isn't mine." Maria cut her off bluntly.

"Then where is your home?"

"I haven't found it yet." Maria had become uncomfortable with her little sister questioning her, and reverted to her best form of defence. "Fuck it, if you wanna go home then go the fuck home. I'm not gonna stop you."

"You know I won't." Her little sister sounded unsure. "But I can't go back without you, Maria, they'll crucify me if I do. And . . . I don't _want_ to go back without you, either." Maria crossed her arms. "Look, I understand that this is tiring and irritating for you, too, but you're kind of putting me in a weird situation. I love you Maria, you know I do. And I need you 'cause God knows I can't do this alone. But . . . I don't know what I want anymore. When we first talked about leaving it was gonna be this big adventure, just me and you. But then you left _without_ me and –-"

"There was a reason for that."

"Whatever, whatever, let's not go into it now. But you came back, and now we're finally out. And at first it was thrilling and exciting and it felt _right_, you know? But this is . . . It's getting more and more uncomfortable for me, Maria."

"I love you too, Lor." Her expression softened as a sigh escaped her painted lips. "And I know I'm a complete bitch for making you choose between staying with me and going home to Mom and Dad. But it's because I can't do this alone either. Let's face it, who else do I have? There's no boy around to look after me and be my knight in shining armour so I'm looking after myself. And I'll look after you too, I _swear . . ._ But if you don't feel right being here then you can go." She pauses. "And, 'weirder and weirder'?"

"I understand you. And by 'weirder and weirder' I meant . . . We used to have a home, a house –- with food -– and even if it wasn't the best of households it was still there and it was still _ours_. Where are we now? I don't even know, actually. Befriending the criminals who belong to an underground rebellion? Where are we gonna live, by the way, when we completely run out of money? Which is gonna be pretty soon, in case you hadn't realised."

"I see your point. But at the moment, in my heart of hearts, this is what I want. To work things out myself and . . . Have some kind of _life . . ._ And they're good people, Gloria. They're just not the kind of people you used to hang around with."

"I know, I know . . ." It was Gloria's turn to sigh. "And I want to do this with you, I want to find out who I am. But it would be nice to have something to fall back on if everything goes to hell . . . Although I doubt we do, now that we've both run off . . ."

Maria pulled a face. It suddenly hit her that what they were doing was pretty ridiculous, standing at the edge of the tracks arguing. But just as she opened her mouth to speak, Gloria made a decision.

"Seeing as we're pretty much on our own anyway . . . I'm with you."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah." Her reply was hesitant, and she was biting her lip. "You know I could never leave you, sis."

Maria closed the distance between them and hugged her little sister tightly.

"Come on. Andrew said he'd pick us up on the Boulevard."

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Deadbeat Holiday' by Green Day.


	12. Born And Raised By Hypocrites

Jimmy's head was full of numbers. He'd spent fifteen minutes sitting on Tunny's front lawn with Christian once the boy had gone inside, and then walked the five blocks from there to Christian's house. Five minutes had been spent sitting out on the wall in front of Christian's house before his Mom had come out and yelled at them. Then he'd walked the seven blocks from there back to his own house, finally arriving home at 2.30 (give or take a few minutes).When he finally found the energy to roll over and look at his alarm clock the time was 10.00am exactly.

Fuck. He groaned inwardly as he sat up, running a hand through his hair. Mom's gonna go insane.

He hated Mondays. Granted he hardly ever went to school anymore so that wasn't a problem, but Monday was the day his Mom spent at home, recovering from whatever she'd drank over the weekend. He'd have to deal with her questions about why he wasn't in school. It wasn't exactly a conversation he enjoyed having.

He cast his eyes around the room as he swung himself out of bed, and as he spotted yesterday's clothes he grabbed them. He found a cigarette in his pocket and this discovery elicited a smirk. He lit it, took a drag and made his way downstairs.

"Put that thing out right now, Jimmy." His mother glared at him as he entered the kitchen.

"Mom, it's not like you don't smoke in the house." He flicked ash across the floor.

"I'm your mother; I can do whatever the hell I like."

"Pfft, that's great parenting." He snorted, taking an exaggerated drag from the cigarette as he strode away into the living room, his mother's glaring eyes doing their best attempt to bore holes into his back.

By the time his mother came into the room she'd lit her own cigarette. She put a plate of food in front of him and sat down in the armchair.

"What's the matter with you?" She asked as he looked blankly at the plate.

"Your face." As he spoke, Jimmy cast her a withering glare.

"Oh, well it must be easy sittin' there all high and mighty - the king of shit mountain."

"Shit mountain. That's exactly what this fuckin' place is. This disgusting house that we live in. You know what the sickest part of it is? You come in here ever God-damn morning, and you give me the same, sick look."

That gets her full attention.

"What look is that, Jimmy?"

"You look at me like I'm the loser."

"Oh." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You sit there with your fuckin' scratch-off lottery tickets and you think 'oh, maybe tomorrow it's all gonna change'. You're never gonna fucking -"

"Are you done? Who gave you the right to start shit? What are you, Jesus nailed to that couch suffering for your sins? And I'm the loser? That makes you the son of a loser, you fuckin' moron." She reached over and stubbed her cigarette out into his breakfast.

Their eyes met, and they held each other's gaze. Neither of them wanted to look like a coward by breaking eye contact.

Without looking at the table, Jimmy knocked the plate up towards her face. She flinched, and was wiping the food from her face as he stormed out of the house.

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus of Suburbia Prt III I Don't Care' by Green Day.


	13. And MaryJane, To Keep Me Insane

Jimmy walked across the parking lot of the 7/11, exchanging brief greetings with the small number of his acquaintances who were braving the early morning. Eventually he crossed the main road and headed under the freeway. More people were there now, and it didn't take him long before he found someone useful.

"Yo, Ronnie!" He called to a bearded young man.

"Jimmy, what's up?" Ronnie looked over as Jimmy came to a stop beside him.

"Have you seen Mary?"

"Oh, Jimmy . . . Maybe you shouldn't -"

"Ron, chill. No scenes, I promise." Jimmy reassured him, but Ronnie didn't look convinced.

Jimmy sauntered over to where Mary sat in a brown arm chair, sobering up in the early morning light. He put a hand on each arm of the chair, and leant towards her.

"In case you were too pissed to remember, I saw you with him."

"You saw who?" Mary sighed.

"Don't fucking lie to me." His voice was quite, not much above a whisper, but there was menace there.

She stared up at him, beginning to feel uncomfortable. His glare was unwavering.

"What do you want from me, Jimmy? I'm fucking him."

"Well I can't say I'm fucking surprised." He snorted. "Mary, I'm leaving. Have a nice fucking life for me, okay? I never liked you anyway."

He pushed away from her, leaving her gaping at his back as he left.

"Jimmy?" Ronnie frowned.

"It's cool, Ronnie. I'll see you around, okay?"

Ronnie never had the chance to reply, because Jimmy was already halfway across the road.

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus of Suburbia Prt II City Of The Damned' by Green Day.


	14. Dearly Beloved, Are You Listening?

Tunny woke up, and looking to his right saw that Rach was still sound asleep. He tried to move his arm out from underneath her without waking her, and failed miserably.

"Tun?" She mumbled as she stirred.

"Who else?" He smiled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Mmm . . . Whatcha doin' up? 'S early . . ." Her words were almost incoherent as she yawned.

"It's . . ." Tunny checked the clock. "Eleven am. So . . . Not early. Although considering the time I got in last night I do see your point."

Rach smiled to herself. "Where are you going?"

This startled him. Even though it was a perfectly innocent question, he panicked. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Because that didn't make me suspicious." She frowned, but that was followed quickly by a laugh. "You got somewhere to be?"

"No . . ." Tunny looked down at the floor.

"Honey . . ." She sat up, the frown back in place. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Rach."

"You sure?"

"Um . . . Yep." He thought for a moment, then continued. "Actually . . ."

She scooted closer to him, placing her hand on his leg. "C'mon, I'm gonna start worrying for real if you don't tell me."

"You're gonna worry anyway." He sighed.

"Tunny . . ."

"You know . . . You know I went after Jimmy last night?"

"Yeah . . .?" Her reply was slow, uncertain.

Tunny sighed again, and decided that the best thing to do would be to get the explaining over and done with so that he could break the news to her. "I found him at the 7/11, and when we got outside Mary was there with . . . Jason."

"That . . . Sounds bad."

"I think she's been cheating on Jimmy - well, no, I think it's perfectly obvious that she's been cheating on Jimmy. But he started laying into Jason and then Christian and I had to split them up . . ."

"Wow, that's . . . How could she do that? I mean, I know Jimmy and I don't get along all the time . . . But he's a nice guy." Rach was genuinely shocked, and in that instant Tunny was reminded just how much he loved her.

"Exactly. But it's Mary though, isn't it? She's fucking nuts." He squeezed her hand. "And you might not get on but at least Jimmy likes you. Not that I'd care if he didn't."

"You know what?" She squeezed back, smiling. "I think I'm lucky to have you."

"Rach . . ." He smiled too, trying to keep the mood light for as long as possible. "You'd do just fine without me, you know that."

"What makes you say that?" She laughed, but suddenly felt very unsure of herself. "Aren't you supposed to tell me the opposite?"

"How bad a boyfriend would I be if I told you I thought you wouldn't be able to cope if I wasn't around?" He hoped his laughter didn't sound forced.

"I don't know, one that would do everything to convince his girl that she wasn't the least bit independent so that she wouldn't leave?"

"And does that sound like me?"

"No, but it still worries me that you said it."

Tunny leant forward to kiss her softly on the lips. "Please don't worry." He whispered.

"Have I any reason to?" She replied, cocking an eyebrow.

Tunny knew that, if he lied, Rach would see right through him. He was suddenly lost for words.

"Hey," She carefully grabbed Tunny's chin, forcing him to look at her. "Tell me."

His eyes were looking at anything and everything in the room except her. "Jimmy is leaving today. He's taking Christian with him."

"No." She understood. "No. Tunny, no. Do-don't do this . . ."

"Rach, if they go on their own they'll get themselves killed . . . Chris is only fifteen, and Jimmy . . . He's not the best at looking after himself, never mind anyone else."

Rach was speechless for a moment. "Tunny, don't do this to me." She whispered finally.

"You know I wouldn't go if I didn't have to." He implored her to see things from his point of view.

"But you don't have to!" She cried. "I know that Jimmy wouldn't force you to leave!"

"Of course he wouldn't, but Jimmy also wouldn't admit that he has no idea what he's going to do when he gets to the City." He took hold of both her hands. "Please, Rachael."

"I can't believe you." She snatched her hands away from him, her eyes welling with tears. "So were you lying to me yesterday, then?"

"I . . . Didn't decide I was going with them until after that."

"You told me you'd never leave me!" She sprang to her feet, shouting the words at him. "So either you're a liar or this is some kind of sick joke."

"Why don't . . ." Tunny was clutching at straws now. "You could come with us?"

"And what the hell would my parents say to that, Tunny? The deal was that I could move out as long as I stayed in Jingletown and that you were around to look after me. If you leave this house is gonna get sold, and then your Mom will be pissed with you. And what will happen when shecalls to check up on you? What the hell do I say to her, Tunny?"

He hadn't thought any of this through.

His family - his mother, father and two little sisters - had moved to the East Coast six months ago when his mother got a new job, but they had agreed to let him stay in Jingletown - to finish school (which never happened) and so that he could be with Rach. They sent him money and called occasionally to give him an update on what was going on with them and to make sure he was alright. Rach's parents liked him, and trusted him enough to let their daughter live with him.

If he left, all of this would be ruined. But if he stayed . . . He would never be able to live with himself if something happened to Jimmy or Christian.

"Rach, Mom would still send you the money and you know that." This wasn't strictly a lie - his mother had always treated Rach as part of the family. "You know that Jimmy is the closest thing I have to a brother. Chris isn't far off, either. I can't just abandon them."

"But it's okay to abandon me?" She glared at him tearfully.

"That's not what I said." He sighed. "If you won't come . . . I won't stay forever. I'll come back, for you. If you need me you'll only have to call me and I'll be on the next train back, I swear." Tunny took hold of hand, pulling her back towards him as he stood up. She let him wrap his arms around her. "You are everything to me, you know that."

"Please . . ." She bit back a sob. "If you're leaving, just . . . Just go. Don't make this harder."

* * *

Title is taken from the song 'Jesus of Suburbia Prt IV Dearly Beloved' by Green Day.


	15. I'm Taking All You Down With Me

As Jimmy walked back across the 7/11 parking lot, Christian walked out of the store with a Slurpee in his hand and a backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Hey, Jimmy!" He called brightly.

"Morning, Chris." Jimmy grinned. "Why the hell are you up so early?"

Christian shrugged. "Nothing better to do." He offered the cup to Jimmy. "Want some?"

"What flavour is it?" He regarded the contents with some suspicion.

"The berry lime one."

"Y'know, I think I'll pass." Jimmy laughed, pulling a face. "Too sour for me."

"Now why do I find that hard to believe?" Christian teased him.

"Oh whatever Chris, whatever." Jimmy rolled his eyes. "I gather you spoke to your parents then?"

"Yup. I can come with you as long as I call home once a week and go back for Christmas."

"Christmas . . . It's fucking March, Christian."

"What can I say? Mom thinks ahead."

"Are you sure she's okay with it?"

"You sound like you're my mother." Christian rolled his eyes.

"All right, all right, I believe you!"

Christian smiled smugly, knowing that he'd won, and took a sip of his drink. "You dealt with M-J yet?"

"Just now." Jimmy nodded. "I think I freaked Ronnie out a bit though."

"You didn't go apeshit, did you?" There was a sigh in Christian's voice.

"I think I handled it very well, actually." Jimmy shot Christian a look, but something caught his eye. "Oh."

"What -" Christian followed his line of vision. "Oh."

Tunny was walking along the road towards the 7/11. The two of them could tell just from his posture that he had told Rach, and that she hadn't taken it well.

"Well . . . Two out of three ain't bad." Jimmy noted grimly before walking to meet his friend.

* * *

**Having A Blast; Green Day; Dookie**


	16. To Break From These Chains

The other two walked across to meet Tunny. As they reached him Jimmy saw the bag on his back, and realised that he was now the least prepared out of the three of them.

"You okay?" Jimmy asked him, already knowing the answer.

"Truthfully? No."

In an incredibly rare and seemingly uncharacteristic display of affection, Jimmy hugged his best friend briefly but tightly.

"Man, I must look suicidal if you've decided I need a hug, J." His heart wasn't in the joke but he forced a smile as he said it.

"You know you can -"

"Jimmy I do not wanna talk about it. I'm coming and that's that."

"I'm gathering this is an idea time for a subject change . . ." Christian interjected. "How are we actually getting to the City?"

"The bus?"

"After the last time we used the bus? They threw us off halfway home, Tunny."

"That was Mary's fault." Jimmy admitted. "What about the train?"

"They're not letting any of our lot on."

"What? Why the fuck not?"

"Apparently some girls hitched from here to Murder City then snuck off along the tracks before they could get caught. People who were on the train who're from Jingletown said they looked like two of ours." Christian explained, pleased that for once he was the one with the information.

"But none of ours have left . . . Urgh well we're fucked then." Tunny groaned. "Unless we hitch on the freeway?"

Jimmy shook his head. "I've got a better idea." He didn't want to explain it yet. "Just meet me back here at three, alright?"

"Should we be worried?"

Jimmy simply shook his head again, smirking as he headed back towards the overpass.

He had a proposition for Ronnie.

* * *

**409 In Your Coffeemaker; Green Day; 39/Smooth (can now be found on the 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours album)**


	17. My Beat Up Car

"Back so soon?" Ronnie called as he saw Jimmy. "I don't know what you said to her, but if you came to have another little chat with M-J you're outta luck. She left not long after you did."

"It's you I wanted to talk to actually, Ron."

"Oh. What have I done?"

"What? No, nothing!" Jimmy corrected him hastily. "I need a favour."

"This conversation has yet to fill me with confidence, Jimmy." Ronnie admitted.

"Why does everyone think I'm up to something today?" Jimmy exclaimed in despair.

"Hate to break it to you, J, but it's not just today." There was a pause as Jimmy glared at him. "I'm kidding."

"I should hope so."

"What's this favour, then?" Ronnie brought the conversation back to the original topic.

"Have you finished the car yet?"

"Pretty much . . . Why?" There was suspicion in the older boy's voice now.

"Can I have a look at it?" Jimmy questioned innocently.

"Now why would you wanna do that?" Ronnie frowns.

"Because you've been working on it for the best part of a year and you said the other day that it's nearly done?"

"You've never shown any interest before, though."

"Yes I have!"

"Shrugging and saying 'whatever' every time it's mentioned is not showing an interest, man." Ronnie tried to hide a smirk.

Jimmy opened his mouth to speak, but realised that he had no comeback for that. He settled for just glaring at Ronnie. The other boy stopped hiding his smirk, and put an arm around Jimmy's shoulders.

"Now, tell me the real reason you wanna see the car."

"I . . ." Jimmy muttered. "Need to borrow it."

"Oh, what was that?" Ronnie was starting to enjoy this. "Borrow it? Whatever for?"

"Ronnie I know you're not an idiot. You've heard me talk about leaving more than anyone else apart from Tun and Chris."

"You're right, I suppose." Ronnie smiled. "You're really doing it, then?"

"That's the plan . . ."

"That's insane." For once, this statement was a serious one.

"How so?"

"You know what I mean, Jimmy."

"Ronnie . . ."

"Jimmy," Ronnie sighed. "You're all so young - and I know that makes me sound old as hell even though I'm not that much older than you, and it probably makes you feel physically ill, but . . . Chris isfifteen."

Jimmy chose to ignore the fact that Ronnie was talking about all three of them, too. "Believe me, Ronnie, if we could talk Chris out of coming with us we would."

Ronnie sighed again. "Alright, yeah . . . Okay, I'll show you the car, but you know I'm not happy about it." As they started to walk, he muttered to himself. "Wow, I sound like my Grandpa."

"You're the best, y'know?" Jimmy grinned at him.

"Tell me about it."

"Don't go getting an ego on me now, Ron."

"Man, relax, my ego is in perfect shape. It's the perfect size."

Jimmy raised an eyebrow. ". . .Of course it is."

"Alright, let me show you that car now." Ronnie laughed quietly.

"That's the most sense you've made in the past five minutes."

"You hurt me, J. So much."

"Get some backbone, Ronnie." Jimmy nudged him with his elbow as they reached the dead-end of the underpass. "Is that the car?" Jimmy's eyes were drawn to the tarpaulin-covered shape against the wall.

"Yup, that's the one." Ronnie strode forward to pull the tarpaulin off the car.

It was a 1968 Mercury Monterey convertible that Ronnie had gotten from his uncle's garage. This uncle was also the reason that Ronnie himself knew so much about cars. When Ronnie had gotten it it had been silver - and that was only on the patches that weren't covered with rust. Now the rust was still there in places (as were numerous dents that were too sever to buff away), but the body was a dusty green and the silver trim had been polished so that you could see your face in it.

Jimmy might not have been interested while the hard work was being done, but he was more than impressed now.

"It might not look like it, but she runs like a dream." Ronnie added.

"It - she? It's a girl? - looks . . . Pretty damn cool. Especially considering that it was a rusted pile of crap when you brought it here."

"Yeah, she's a girl. And thanks, man." Ronnie was beaming with pride.

"Do you . . . Do you want me to pay you?"

"Pay me? No, just . . . Get her back safe and sound, all right? And don't let anyone touch her okay? If you have any problems then call me, but you won't need to."

". . . Get her back?" Jimmy had decided that it was probably best not to remind Ronnie that he and Tunny didn't have full licenses yet - although, at least that was more than Chris had.

"When you get back. You're just borrowing her." The look in Ronnie's eyes told Jimmy not to argue. "I don't care when, just, come back some day. Even if it's just for a visit, yeah?"

". . . Okay. Maybe we'll come kidnap you."

"Maybe." Ronnie laughed.

"I can feel the enthusiasm, dude."

"Now don't go sarcastic on me, that's my thing."

"Don't you worry. I'll be out of your hair by three, then you can have the sarcasm back."

"You're so funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever met, Jimmy." Ronnie deadpanned.

"I get it, I get it, you're the sarcastic one. Sheesh."

Ronnie, despite what was probably the more intelligent part of his brain warning him against it, pulled Jimmy into a fully-blown hug. Not even the 'man-hug' style they were used to exchanging on very rare occasions, but a real and sincere one.

"Can you promise me one thing?"

Jimmy was slightly taken aback, but he eventually hugged him back. "That depends what it is."

Ronnie let him go. "I know I should say 'stay out of trouble', but that's not likely to happen until hell can fly and pigs have frozen over or whatever . . . Promise me you won't lose the wit or the humour, okay? Don't become one of those grumpy, depressed guys that got old way too early, alright? I've seen it happen before and I don't wanna see it happen again with you."

"So what you're trying to say is, 'don't let the City make you bitter?"

"Exactly."

"I promise. Cross my heart, and all that jazz."

"That's my boy." Ronnie laughed fondly.

"So . . . Any rules? Don't crash, don't let it get stolen? Don't let Christian drive?"

"Hmm, nope, I think you just about summed it up there. Here you go." He handed Jimmy the keys, but looked somewhat anxious.

"Why do you look so worried?"

"I have a sneaking feeling that the first thing you're gonna do is back her right into the lamppost over there." He indicated the offending object.

Jimmy hadn't noticed it, and paled slightly at the thought of having to reverse. "Um."

". . . Do you want me to back it out for you? Oh and by the way, maybe we'd better add another rule to that list? Let Tunny drive; He's the most responsible."

"That's . . . Probably a good idea." Jimmy admitted. "But do you have to ruin all my fun? Tunny'll stick to the limit and then it'll take us twice as long to get there!"

Ronnie started to laugh yet again. "Not my problem."

"It's your car, I guess." Jimmy sighed.

"Damn straight!"

Jimmy gave up pretending to be annoyed and laughed. "Man, you should come with us . . ."

Ronnie's smile faded as he thought about this proposition. He sighed. "Maybe I should. Haven't got a lot back here. Would you really want me there, though?"

"I reckon Tunny'd like another responsible guy around. Plus, you could keep an eye on your car."

They were silent as Ronnie considered everything.

"You know what?" He said at last. "I'm in."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, man. If you want me, I'm there."

"Fuck yeah!" Jimmy broke into a grin. "Um, the other two have their bags and stuff ready but I've gotta go and deal with that. There's someone I need to go and see, too. I told 'em to meet me at the 7/11 at three . . ."

Ronnie looked at his watch. "Guess we have some packing to do then, eh?"

"Oh, hell yeah."

"Tell you what, I'll drop you off back at yours and I'll leave the car? It's not that far to walk back to my place, and then when you're done you can drive to mine and pick me up? You can manage a couple of blocks without trashing her, can't you?"

"I think I can manage that, yeah." Jimmy rolled his eyes.

"Can I have my keys back then, Jimmy?"

* * *

**Christie Road; Green Day; Kerplunk**


	18. This Hurricane Of Fucking Lies

Ronnie pulled the car onto Jimmy's drive and parked, the two boys quickly climbing out.

"See you in a few, J." Ronnie threw the keys over the car to Jimmy, whose hand shot out to catch them.

"This shouldn't take me too long." He replied after he'd caught them. Ronnie nodded in return and strode away from the house. Jimmy twirled the keys in his fingers as he walked onto the porch, opening the door with his free hand.

"Jimmy." A gruff, irritated-sounding voice called out as soon as he set foot in the hallway.

Jimmy's heart sank and a feeling of dread began to knot and settle in his stomach, crawling up through his chest until he felt like his throat was about to close up. He had thought - hoped,prayed - that he'd get away from Jingletown - far away - before Brad got home.

"Yeah, it's me." He half-sighed, managing to find his voice.

"I've been wanting a word with you." Brad had walked through to the hallway by this point, fixing his step-son with a look.

"I gathered." Jimmy had recovered himself now, and matched his step-father's look.

"Your mother is very upset with you."

"Oh, is she?" Jimmy snorted. Sarcasm was becoming his first defence, it seemed. "That's great. That's really great. Is that why you're on my case today?"

"I'm on your case today because, as per usual, you're proving yourself to be an ungrateful little prick who thinks he's better than everyone else in this town."

"Not everyone." Jimmy allowed a smirk to twist his mouth. "Just the redneck fuckers like you who outnumber the rest of us."

"You're never gonna get any higher up the motherfuckin' food chain, Jimmy. You were born in this shithole and you're gonna wither and die here too." Brad near enough spat at him. "And hopefully someone with sense'll come along an' piss on your grave when you're six feet under."

"Oh yeah? You fucking wait, Brad. I'm getting out of this town tonight, you're the one who's gonna wither and die here and I'm gonna come back just so I can have the fucking pleasure of bein' the one to piss on your grave." Before Brad could respond, Jimmy had moved upstairs and slammed his bedroom door.

Half an hour passed, and Jimmy was throwing clothes into his bag when his mother came and stood in the doorway, a cigarette in her hand. Jimmy's eyes flicked up to look at her and just as quickly fell back to his bag. They didn't say anything, and when he looked up again she had left.

Jimmy almost fell down the stairs, such was his eagerness to get out of the house. His bag was slung over one arm and he dug in his pocket with his free hand to get the car keys. He threw the front door open and flung the bag into the back seat as he got in. He had just put the key in the ignition when his mother came out of the house at considerable speed, banging on the hood as she came to a halt.

Jimmy got out of the car to stand in front of her. She put her hands to his face and then slipped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

"I love you." She murmured into the side of his neck.

He reached up to take hold of her wrists, gently removing her arms from around him. As she relented and let her arms fall back to her sides he stroked his thumbs along the backs of her hands and squeezed her wrists just before he let her go.

"I know."

She stayed standing there long after the car was out of sight.

* * *

**Jesus Of Suburbia; Green Day; American Idiot**


	19. Throw Away My Past Mistakes

Rachael jumped as the doorbell rang, and she was more than surprised to find Jimmy standing in front of her when she opened the door.

"Hey, Rach." His voice was softer than she was used to. "Can I come inside?"

"I, um -"

"This won't take long, I promise."

She stepped aside to let him through the door, and they ended up standing awkwardly in the hallway. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Rach sighed.

"Has Tunny sent you?"

"Tunny doesn't know I'm here." Jimmy admitted.

She was at a loss. "Then why are you even -"

"Because," He cut her off. "I'm not letting him leave this town until the two of you are at the very least on speaking terms."

"You do know that I could just refuse to speak to him so that he doesn't leave with you?" She pointed out.

"But I know you won't."

"How? How do you know that?"

"Because you aren't that kind of person." He said simply, his words punctuated with a shrug.

"Why do you care so much, Jimmy?"

"Because Tunny is my best friend and I can't stand to watch him tear himself up over this. And truth be told I'm pretty fond of you too, Rach."

That rendered her momentarily lost for words.

"Jimmy . . ."

"Will you at least come and say goodbye to him?"

Rachael's head and heart waged an internal battle until she came to a decision. It only took a matter of seconds.

"Okay."

"I just need to pick Ronnie up and then we'll go to the 7/11, all right?"

"Yeah." As he turned to lead the way out of the house, she grabbed his sleeve.

"Jimmy, I want to ask you something." There was something in her voice that made him look around again, nodding for her to continue. "The Jesus Of Suburbia is . . . Jimmy if you're leaving Jingletown behind shouldn't you leave him behind, too? That was the persona you created so that you could rise above the scum of this town, wasn't it?"

"I don't . . . It's not that easy, Rach."

"I don't think you need to be him anymore." She told him quietly, her brown eyes searching his face for some kind of response. Sensing that he was about to change the subject, she pulled him into a hug. "Jimmy . . . Thank you."

He didn't need to ask what for. She pressed her face into his shoulder, silently trying to convey just how grateful she was to him for coming and giving her this chance.

Before Jimmy hugged her back, the thought crossed his mind that far too many people were hugging him today. It was on the verge of becoming a habit. He would forgive Rach, though.

They left the house and drove to Ronnie's house in a silence that was much more comfortable than the one they had previously experienced. Ronnie was out of the house before Jimmy had even had a chance to stop the car.

"Let's get this show on the road!" The older boy grinned as the cliche left his mouth and he slid into the back seat with Jimmy's bag, shoving his own next to it. "Oh, hey Rach."

"Hi, Ronnie."

"You coming with?"

"No. No, I just want to say goodbye to Tunny."

"Ah, young love." He teased.

"Shut it, Ron." Jimmy smirked, stepping in as Rachael's defence.

"You are driving my car, Jimmy. Watch your attitude!" Ronnie mock-threatened him.

Rach failed to hide a smile. With Jimmy, Ronnie, Christian and Tunny gone, Jingletown would be a much less interesting place - and, let's face it, it didn't have much going for it to start off with.

The ride to the 7/11 passed in a blur of stupid jokes and bad music coming from the radio and before Rachael knew it they were pulling into the parking lot of the 7/11. The cars three occupants saw Christian and Tunny get to their feet as the car stopped a couple of feet away from them.

Jimmy jumped out of the car as soon as it had stopped. "Tunny!"

"Why are you shout- oh." Up until that point Rachael had been hidden from view by Jimmy, but as Tunny had begun to speak the boy had stepped out of the way and letting Tunny see that his long-suffering girlfriend was climbing out of the passenger side.

"No way in hell was I letting you out of town without you fixing things with her first."

Rach hesitantly stepped around the car as Tunny closed the gap between them while Ronnie hastily slid out of the back seat and sidled over to Jimmy and Christian to give the couple some privacy.

"What did you say to her?" Christian nudged Jimmy.

The boy shrugged. "Not a lot."

Tunny didn't think he'd ever felt quite so awkward. This was on a par with the night he'd asked her to be his girlfriend, of that he was certain. Although if he took that into consideration, this conversation would go well if it didn't end with him tripping over a 'caution: wet floor' sign inside the 7/11.

"I didn't think you'd want to see me again." He admitted nervously.

"Jimmy managed to persuade me. I stand by what I've said in the past, he's the best fucking friend that you are ever gonna get."

"I can't argue with that." The corners of Tunny's mouth curled up into a small, cautious smile. "I'm sorry."

"I know. I'm sorry, too. I guess . . . I just . . . I don't want to lose you."

"I will always come back to you Rachael. Forever." He closed the last, minute gap between them so that he could press his lips to hers. She returned his kiss gratefully, thanking every deity that came into her head that they had worked things out before he left.

And yes, despite what she had said earlier, the Jesus Of Suburbia was included on her list of thank yous.

* * *

**Going To Pasalacqua; Green Day; 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours**


	20. The Dawning Of The Rest Of Our Lives

"Buy some food." Rach insisted. "I don't know how long that drive will take you and I'll feel better if I know you won't have starved to death before you even get to the City."

"Fine, fine." Tunny decided to just go with it. The four boys rolled their eyes and went through the doors of the 7/11.

Jimmy noticed a tub of white paint outside the bathroom. "Guys, get the food."

Christian looked up, mouth open to question him, but Tunny shushed the younger boy and they followed Ronnie through the aisles.

Jimmy's blood boiled at the sight in front of him. They had painted over his graffiti, his sermons, his stories, his confessions in bright, clean white paint.

Rachael's words from earlier came back to him.

"I don't think you need to be him anymore."

She was right, and this was proof of it. He dug around in his pockets, finding a red sharpie. He walked to the furthest wall and, standing on tiptoe, wrote the words 'Saint Jimmy' in huge letters. Jimmy stepped back, rocking on his heels, to view his handiwork. As he did this another thought flashed through his mind.

There was a little box in his other pocket. Originally it had held the engagement ring his father had given to his mother, and now it held something much more destructive. He pulled the box out and opened it, walking over to the sink.

Jimmy's left hand shook a little as he held his palm up, facing the ceiling. His right hand, though, the one that held the razor, was still. He drew the blade slowly along his palm, following his life line, and waited until the blood had welled on his palm before he walked back over to his graffiti.

He pressed his palm onto the wall and as he drew back he was greeted with the sight of his hand's imprint in bright, fresh red against the sterile white of the paint.

"I've lost my faith." He murmured to no one, balling the sleeve of his hoodie around his hand to staunch the flow of blood and walking back to the others.

Tunny noticed the blood beginning to seep through his friend's sleeve but didn't say a word. Instead, he grabbed a package of bandages as they headed over to the cash register and Christian pulled out a wad of green notes.

"Mom's little gift for us." He explained at the questioning looks from the other three.

They went back outside. Tunny and Rach exchanged a long, lingering kiss as Ronnie and Christian put their bags and food in the trunk. Jimmy fished the packet of bandages out with his good hand and messily dressed his self-inflicted wound. None of the others said anything.

"Right, we're ready." Ronnie announced. "I'm driving, I hope you're all aware of that."

The couple kissed each other one last time and Tunny promised he'd call her as soon as they arrived in Murder City. Ronnie and Christian got in the front and Jimmy and Tunny sprawled across the back seats. Ronnie put the roof on the car down so that they could all call their goodbyes to Rachael.

"We're getting the fuck out of Jingletown!" Christian punched the air as Ronnie revved the car.

"Took us fucking long enough." Jimmy replied with a smirk. Rachael grinned at the four of them, waving and waving until the car was out of sight.

They hit the City in the early hours of the next morning, after stopping for gas, more food and so that Tunny could give Ronnie a break from driving.

It wasn't really called Murder City, but that was what everyone – locals, tourists (not that there were many) – called it. It had other names, too. The City Of The Damned and the City Of The Dead were in second and third place to its unofficial official title of Murder City. The reason it earned this title doesn't really need an explanation.

Tunny twisted in his seat while the car was stopped at a set of lights.

"Jimmy, where are we going now?"

The only response he received was a shrug, and he suppressed a sigh. Ronnie decided to offer his assistance, seeing as he knew the City better than the other three did.

"If you go straight on down this road until you get to the end then turn left you'll hit the part of the City I know best. There's a bar there where they won't care how old you three are."

The others nodded in agreement, and as the lights changed to green Tunny followed the older boy's instructions. From the back seats, Jimmy and Christian watched the City pass by in a blur of lights and noise, relishing the feeling of a new beginning that they had begun to feel as soon as the City's 'welcome' sign had come into view.

"Gimmie a name?" Tunny broke the silence ten minutes later.

"The Ruby Room. It's just at the end of this street."

Tunny found a space to park the car on the edge of the sidewalk, just a little way away from the bar. The four boys climbed out, heading towards the slightly ajar and extremely faded red door. Music, smoke and the smell of alcohol, nicotine and the unmistakable scent of marijuana slipped through the gap and onto the street. It was oddly comforting, under the circumstances.

Ronnie reached the door first, and held it open for the others. The music was louder then, and the smell hit them like a wave. It almost felt like they had come home.

"Welcome to the rest of your lives."

* * *

**Holiday; Green Day; American Idiot**


	21. Dirty Floors And Sticky Tables

The four boys were greeted with a bouncer as they walked through the door. The well-built man was much taller than them, and stood imposingly in front of the inside door which lead to the bar.

"Don't even bother guys."

"I thought you said they wouldn't care?" Tunny hissed from behind Ronnie, who had made his way to the front of the group.

Ronnie ignored Tunny. "Hey, Trev."

"Ronnie?" The man looked at him properly. "Fuck, you haven't been around in forever. How you been?"

"Good. Living in the City now with these three."

"Really? Since when?"

"About half an hour ago."

The man laughed. "Nice. I know, though, that these three aren't old enough to get served in here are they?"

"Jimmy's eighteen, Tunny is seventeen, Christian is fifteen." He knew there was no point in lying.

"You're trying to get a fifteen year old into my bar?" Trev raised an eyebrow.

"Oh come on, with the lighting in there who's gonna notice? If it makes you feel any better, they won't drink –"

"Hey!" Christian protested quietly.

"And besides," Ronnie continued. "The cops never bother with checks here. Half of 'em come in here and get wasted as soon as their shift is over anyway."

Trev regarded the boys for one long moment before deciding that he couldn't fault Ronnie's logic.

"Get inside. Sit at the back."

Ronnie flashed him a grin. Trev wasn't just the bouncer - he owned the place. If you were in his good books, it only took a little bit of sweet-talking before you were good to go.

The bar itself was lined with patrons, and the dim red lights cast eerie shadows across them. The room was hot, dark, smoky and exactly the kind of place the boys adored. There was a band on the stage that was set up against the back wall of the room, and the dancefloor was filled with writhing bodies. They sounded and looked like the Who had been put in a blender with most of the '80s, the Ramones and a low-budget theater's costume room, and their current song was an ode to the place they stood in.

_"Goin' down to the Ruby Room_  
_I'm gonna meet my doom_  
_By the name of Rosie-May_  
_She's the midnight pick of the day, hey hey!"_

The Rosie-May of the song was apparently the woman behind the bar, as when the name was sung those who were near her at the bar raised their drinks with a cheer. The song came to an end as the boys sat down in a booth in the corner of the room. From here they had an almost perfect view of everyone else. The band clattered past them in a blur of laughter, terrible clothes and the overpowering smell of beer into the bathroom. As the door swung open, Jimmy caught a glimpse of the graffiti-covered walls of the room inside.

He was going to like it here.

There was a girl at the bar; laughing as the guy next to her slipped from his stool in a drunken stupor. She was clearly underage, but it seemed that different rules applied to the regulars than the ones that applied to Jimmy and the others.

"Hey, kid." Someone had caught Jimmy staring.

It was a man – maybe in his mid-to-late-thirties with bleached blonde hair and dirty brown roots. His eyes were covered by white Ray Bans and he wore one of the oddest combinations of clothing that Jimmy had ever seen. It was obvious, after Jimmy had given him the once over, that he was the singer.

"Can I help you?" Jimmy raised an eyebrow.

"Question is," It came out as a slurred 'kweshtyunish', but the drunken man quickly attempted to compose himself before he continued his sentence. "Can I help you?"

"I don't think so." Jimmy half-laughed.

"You're in the band, right?" Tunny interjected. "You were good."

"I know." He grinned at him. "Who are you guys, anyway? I ain't never seen you in here before."

"Tunny. This is Ronnie, Christian and Jimmy."

"And where have you come from?"

"Jingletown."

The man's eyebrows rose up from behind the sunglasses. "You're from Jingle? Holy shit it is a small world." He grinned at them, pulling up a chair. "I am the Reverend Strychnine Twitch, and I myself escaped that suburban nightmare and lived to tell the tale."

"Reverend?" Ronnie raised an eyebrow. "Of what?"

"The Church of Lushotology, of course." The man's tone made it sound like this was the most obvious thing in the world. He opened his mouth again, looking like he was about to start a well-prepared and often-used speech, but suddenly someone shoved a cigarette in his mouth and a red-nailed hand reached out to close his mouth around it.

"Stop trying to convert innocent boys to your phoney religion." The newcomer smirked down at him.

Jimmy looked up to see the girl from the bar as the Reverend scowled at her.

"Oh Ser, you ruin all my fun."

"Someone has to keep you in check, Rev." She laughed. "Blue'd kill you - and the rest of us - if you got in trouble here again."

"Blue can shove her moral highground up her -" The girl - Ser? Jimmy wasn't sure if that's what he'd said or not - cut off his mumbling.

"I'm getting you a beer, and then you're going to drink it and act like a normal person. I know it's difficult for you, Rev, but it's for your own good." She rolled her eyes, flashing a smile at the four boys as she turned to make her way back to the bar.

"Make that five beers and you have yourself a deal!" The Rev bargained.

"Fine!" She called back over her shoulder.

"You know these three are underage, right?" Ronnie indicated the younger boys. His question was met with a frown.

"Are they? Well shit, I don't care."

* * *

**Ruby Room; Foxboro Hot Tubs; Stop Drop And Roll!**


	22. Stick Together

Two and a half hours later the boys were still none the wiser as to what the Church of Lushotology was, but if this guy was a Reverend then maybe religion wasn't quite as boring as they'd been led to believe. He was nearly twice their age and he drank them under the table. Literally, in some cases.

They were thrown out of the Ruby Room along with the Reverend and the rest of his band and what appeared to be their miniature entourage when it closed at four - three hours after their arrival in the City. It appeared that this was a regular occurrence - that is, if the conversation they heard while they were trying to gather their bearings on the sidewalk was anything to go by.

"You playing again tomorrow night, Twitch?" Trev asked as the man in question half-sauntered, half-stumbled past him out of the club.

"Yessir." He slurred, looking back at the owner with a drunken grin.

"You sure you're not going to be too hungover to play?"

The Rev shrugged his shoulders, then broke out into spluttered laughter. "Me too hungover. Good one, man."

Trev laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Twitch. Behave."

"Always do, Trev. Always do." The Reverend shook his head, still laughing, as the other man walked into the club and shut the door behind him. "Right, my fellow ex-Jingletowners," He had turned to face the four boys. "I'm not gonna find you dead on the streets in the morning because you're inebriated, have nowhere to stay and get mugged and murdered by some thug, am I?"

It was a moment before anyone spoke - even the others, it seemed, were shocked by how quickly he could switch between barely being able to form a coherent sentence and then being perfectly eloquent.

In this momentary silence Tunny and Christian looked at Jimmy. Then they realised what a stupid idea looking to him for guidance was and turned to Ronnie instead.

"We'll be fine." He confirmed, much to their relief. "I know somewhere we can stay."

"Good." He looked pleased. "Behave, don't do anything I wouldn't do and be here again tomorrow night - no wait, _tonight_, it's morning now right? I like you four." He then turned and started walking in the opposite direction down the street, the rest of the group following him and calling their goodbyes to the boys as they went.

The girl who had brought them their drinks paused as she passed them.

"On the subject of the whole 'don't do anything Twitch wouldn't do' . . ." She began. "That pretty much leaves you clear to do anything you want over the next twenty-four hours." She flashed them as smile. "See you around."

After she followed the rest of her friends the four boys were left standing on the sidewalk. Jimmy, Tunny and Christian turned to look at Ronnie.

"Right, where are we going then?"

"There's a cheap hotel a half a block away." He clarified. "I just hope my car is still here when we come back."

The slightly worse for wear group of people finally arrived at their destination with the Rev singing at the top of his voice.

_"Oh Mother Mary take my hand_

_I'll be your Saint, I'll be your man_

_I'll do most anything, 'cause I don't care_

_Oh Mother Mary take my hand_

_Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba da-da-da-da_

_Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba da-"_

"Twitch!" He was cut off. A window had opened on the third floor of the building they were standing in front of, and a very irritated looking woman was leaning out of it. "Either shut the fuck up or get in here and go to bed!"

"You ruin all my fun!" He yells back up at her.

"I'm gonna start throwing your stuff out of the window if you're not in this building by the time I count to ten . . ." She smirked wickedly.

"Ah fuck, woman, I'm in. I'm in!" He quickly stumbled up the few steps to the front door and into the building.

"And the rest of you." She added pointedly, her voice less irritated now. "Bed, or the neighbours'll be on my case again."

"'Night, Blue." The rest of the group chorused, some slurring their words, before they too entered the building.

Gloria was sat on the window ledge when her sister entered. She'd watched the display down on the sidewalk with increasing amusement. She'd only been a part of this strange group for a day, but it hadn't been difficult to begin to understand how things worked around here.

"I thought you all promised Blue you'd keep him under control?" Was the first thing she asked.

"There's only so much controlling you can do with him." Maria shrugged. "Were you okay while we were gone?"

"Yeah. I finished sorting my stuff and then Blue and me sat around drinking coffee." Gloria explained. "She did her best to explain the things you couldn't about this place."

"Good, I had a feeling she would." Maria crossed the room and leant against the window sill that her little sister was sitting on. "You know, we met some kids from Jingletown in the Ruby Room tonight."

"Really?" Gloria's interest was piqued.

"Yeah, four boys. Twitch befriended them." Both of the sisters laughed. Gloria hadn't known the Rev for very long, but she'd been exposed to him long enough to get an idea for what he was like.

"What're they like?"

Maria shrugged. "They seem okay. Two of 'em are my age, one of them yours and one a bit older. Runaways, obviously. Didn't really talk to them much because the Rev decided to get them drinking."

Gloria looked at her sister for a moment. "I'll bet you five dollars that one of them is the guy who wrote all that stuff in the bathroom of the 7/11 that you were telling me about on the train."

"Perhaps." Maria smiled. "But I suppose only time will tell, right?" Her little sister nodded, and Maria smirked. "You never know, one of them might be just as idealistic as you are."

"You mean my night in shiny armour?" Gloria giggled as soon as her endearing rework of the old cliché left her mouth.

"Exactly!" Her sister grinned.

"Maybe you'll find yours too. I mean, if one of them _is _the 7/11 scribbler he can't be too far off from you can he?" Gloria began to tease her big sister.

"I'm not sure there _is_ a knight in shining - sorry, _shiny_ - armour for me." Maria reached up to ruffle Gloria's hair.

Gloria smiled, then spoke quietly. "I think there's someone for everyone."

"Yep, _definitely _the idealistic one . . ."

"_Whatever_." Gloria snorted. "You just have to open your eyes a bit, Ria. You do realise that back home there were guys that would have just dropped _everything_ for a chance with you?"

Maria laughed softly. "Did I mention that you're also the crazy one?"

"It has been said. By you. And that's a couple of hundred . . . Thousand . . . _Million_ times."

"Exactly."

"Seriously though, Maria." Gloria persisted.

"Yeah, I know, Lor." She sighed a little. "But none of those boys where the right one, you know?"

"See? _See_?" Gloria laughed again. "I knew you had to have a bit of idealism in you somewhere."

Maria rolled her eyes. "Screw you, I'm going to bed." But then she moved to kiss her sister's forehead, silently assuring her that she wasn't mad. "Sweet dreams, Gloria."

* * *

_Mother Mary; Foxboro Hottubs; Stop, Drop and Roll!_


	23. Where the City Sleeps

Three days later the boys had done little more than drink, smoke and sit in the smoky depths of the Ruby Room with Twitch and the others. They'd been accepted by Trev - who had got over letting a fifteen year old into his bar pretty quickly - and had been befriended by Rosie-May, the barmaid - who had no problems with _serving_ a fifteen year old at the bar once the Rev had used his self-professed 'powers of persuasion' on her.

That night though, Jimmy wasn't in the mood for that. He was sitting in the booth, away from the others but watching them. Tunny was in the middle of a rather heated discussion with Ronnie and the Rev while Christian was flirting, badly, with Rosie-May.

"Chris, baby, you're a real sweetheart but I'm already letting you drink so don't push your luck." Jimmy heard her laugh.

"The lady giveth and she taketh away . . ." Twitch teased her, shortly before she snatched his bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon from him.

"Literally, Twitch, so just you watch it!"

"Aww c'mon Rosie!" He protested weakly. "You're so mean, you're as bad as Blue!"

"I'll tell her you said that." Rosie raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't _dare _. . ." He glared at her.

"You wanna bet?"

". . . Not really. Can I have my beer back now?"

Rosie sighed and handed it back to him. "One of these days you're gonna annoy the wrong girl, Twitch."

"Doesn't he do that almost every time he speaks to Blue?" Trev interjected, and the Rev glared at him.

Jimmy zoned out at that point, staring blankly at the half-empty bottle on the table in front of him. He was loving it here in the City . . . Or at least, he thought he was. Today he felt . . . Out of it. Like the rest of the world was carrying on and he was standing still. It wasn't a nice feeling, but it was one that he was used to. It was the kind of feeling that he'd been trying to _escape _by coming here. He was snapped out of his trance when someone slid into the seat opposite him.

"You're not fed up of it here already, are you?"

Jimmy looked up to see the girl from his first night here, the one who the Rev had called Ser, sitting in front of him.

"What can I say? It's a post-escape comedown." He half-smiled at her.

She snorted softly. "Happens to the best of us." She paused, looking around them. "And a bar is not the best place to get over that."

"I'd never have guessed."

"Wanna come for a walk? I'm fed up of this place too."

Five minutes later, Jimmy was walking away from the Ruby Room with this mysterious girl. When he got outside, he realised just how much he'd drunk since getting to the club. She saw him stumble and laughed.

"Maybe walking wasn't the best plan?"

"I'll sober up soon enough." He shrugged with a slightly embarassed grin.

They fell into step beside each other, walking down the almost empty street together.

"Jimmy, right?" She looked over at him.

"Yeah. Is it . . . Ser?"

"Yeah." She laughed. "That'll do. How come you came to the City anyway? You came from Jingletown right?"

"Right. Yeah, I just kind of . . . I'd wanted to leave for ages, and I had a bad couple of days with my mom and my step-dad and stuff and just kind of . . . Roped Tunny into coming with me. nd Chris tagged along. It's Ronnie's car so he decided to come because he couldn't trust us with it." Jimmy sort of explained. "What about you?"

"Moved out here a couple of months ago - I've got a room in the house that Twitch's girl Blue owns. I went back home just a few days ago and brought my sister back with me."

"Your sister?"

"Yeah, she's kinda shy so she's in with Blue. I'll coax her out at some point. I think - Christian is fifteen, right?" She asked, and Jimmy nodded. "Yeah, Gloria is the same age as him. I'm sure Trev is gonna _love_ it when another fifteen year old arrives in his bar."

Jimmy laughed. looking over at her as he did so. She was shorter than him - not by much, but still - and had bleached blonde hair. She was wearing Docs and a long coat, which was fastened because it was oddly cold outside that night. He _thought _that her eyes were brown, but it was so dark out that he couldn't really tell. She seemed friendly enough, and he had to admire her for the way she'd dealt with the Rev the other night.

They walked on in a companionable silence for a while. Jimmy was glad - _more_ than glad - of the distraction that she'd provided him with. Walking through the quiet streets with her felt comfortable. The only noises apart from the two of them came from the clubs and bars and occasionally a car that would drive past. It was getting late and places were going to close soon. Jimmy knew that once he was heading back to the dive of a hotel that they were staying in he'd probably get that melancholic feeling back again.

Right now though, that didn't matter. He hadn't felt so comfortable with someone who wasn't one of his three best friends in a long time. And it felt good.

* * *

Boulevard of Broken Dreams; Green Day; American Idiot

Dedicated to Rachel - happy 17th honey!


End file.
